Building empathy skills for school, work and life

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others.

It’s an essential skill that helps build strong relationships, improves communication and creates a safe environment for everyone.

It’s vital in areas such as customer service, healthcare and social work. But all employers look for candidates who can be supportive team-members and get along with their colleagues.

‘Empathy is vital in careers such as customer service, healthcare and social work – but all employers look for candidates who can be team players’

Click to post

What is empathy?

Empathy is the ability to put yourself in someone else's shoes and understand what their thoughts, feelings and experiences might be like from their point of view. It involves:

• Understanding emotions: Recognising and being sensitive to the feelings of others.
• Non-judgement: Avoiding criticism and offering other people the time and space to express themselves.
• Imagination: Making an effort to understand how someone else feels and responding with understanding rather than simply offering solutions.
• Listening actively: Paying close attention to what others are saying and how they are feeling, without interrupting or judging.

Empathy at school

Sometimes you may feel that empathy is in short supply at school – when it comes to your classmates or your teachers! But think a bit harder and we’re sure there are plenty of occasions you can think of when staff and students have demonstrated empathy.

Here are some examples of when empathy might come into play at school:

• Friendships: Have you ever listened to a friend – or had a friend who listened to you – during a tough time? Chances are you or your friend showed empathy!
• Teachers: If you’ve ever offloaded to a teacher and they’ve got what you were saying and made you feel better, they were probably showing you empathy.
• Cultural diversity: You probably know people from all sorts of different backgrounds at school and if you show each other tolerance and mutual respect, empathy is playing a role in that.

Although empathy is best developed through practice, your subjects can also help you build empathy.

For example, in subjects such as English, history and drama, you learn about people who are very different from you – and yet you use your imagination to think about life from their perspective. Religious studies, sociology and psychology also help you see things from other points of view.

Using empathy at work

In the workplace, empathy is essential for collaboration, communication and good working relationships. This is especially true when conflicts or differences of opinion arise.

From time to time, colleagues may go through professional or personal difficulties – showing empathy can help them get through, making working relationships stronger, strengthening your team and helping everyone do their very best at their jobs. In this sense, empathy is closely related to teamwork and people skills.

Here is a bit more detail on the benefits of empathy in the workplace:

• Working relationships: Showing empathy helps you build trust with your colleagues, creating an environment where people feel comfortable sharing ideas and feedback.
• Conflict: When tensions arise, empathy helps you see where your colleagues are coming from – and be more respectful of their views and opinions, even when you don’t share them.
• Customer service: If you're in a customer-facing job, empathy helps you understand the needs and concerns of customers.
• Collaboration: When you’re working with others, empathy ensures you value each other’s contributions – rather than dismissing ideas you disagree with. This way, you’ll work better as a team and avoid unnecessary conflicts.

Empathy is particularly important in roles where you are dealing with vulnerable people. This may be in healthcare, social services and other public services, as well as counselling and therapy.

How to improve your empathy skills

Developing empathy takes time, patience and practice. It’s worth putting in the effort because it will help you – not just in school or work, but in your personal life too. In fact, it will help you be an all-round better human being!

Empathy does not mean solving people’s problems or carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. A listening ear and kind attitude is important. However, if you start to feel burdened by others’ problems, the situation may have got beyond a helping relationship – which can be unhealthy for you. Talk to a teacher, friend, family-member or other trusted person if this starts to happen.

Here are some tips to help you develop stronger empathy skills:

• Listen actively: Active listening may be a bit of a buzzword, but it really works! When someone is speaking, give them your full attention. Avoid interrupting and focus on understanding their emotions and perspective.
• Ask open-ended questions: Engage with others by asking questions that encourage them to share their thoughts and feelings. Don’t assume, pre-judge or put words in their mouth – give people a chance to say what they really think.
• Put yourself in their shoes: Try to imagine how the other person feels in their situation, even if you don’t fully agree with them. This can help you understand how the situation might look from their point of view.
• Be patient and non-judgemental: Allow people to express themselves freely without rushing them or offering them advice they haven’t asked for. People don’t always want you to solve their problem – just offer a listening ear!
• Practise kindness: A kind word can go a long way! Show empathy through small gestures, like offering support a supportive comment or simply being in the staff canteen to listen when someone needs it.
• Observe body language: Pay attention to non-verbal cues, such as facial expressions, tone of voice and posture. Body language can tell you a lot about how someone is feeling, even if they won’t say it.

These techniques are things you can try out right now, at school or in your personal life. When it comes to empathy, a little effort can go a long way.

Related posts

These are the most important skills you'll need in the future

What skills do I need for a career in social care?